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Dating someone with HIV: Could you do it?.

first_img Sharing is caring! 36 Views   no discussions Share Share Tweetcenter_img Image via mikebaird/FlickrPicture it, my fellow singleistas: you’re at an event for your sorority when a handsome stranger with a megawatt smile catches your eye. Your glances tangle, then you look away in a ploy to appear shy and demure. (You? Yeah right.) You suck in your tummy, push up your boobs, and poke out your booty, feeling totally uncomfortable but looking irresistibly hot, and he comes — slowly, methodically, instinctively — closer to where you’re standing.He cracks a joke that makes you break out in peals of genuine laughter. The chemistry is instantaneous. You exchange numbers, and the first date is the antithesis of every stereotype about going out with a new guy. He’s thoughtful, funny, and most importantly, he still looks good the second time you see him. You breathe a sigh of relief, but suck it right back in when he says he has something he needs to tell you.He really likes you, but you need to know up front: he’s HIV positive. Your first reaction is to throw up your hands and holler, “I knew it!” He seemed too good to be true and, as it turns out, he is. Your body is still in your seat but your mind is already hoofing it at mach 10 pace back to your car. You try to think of a polite way to get out from under his gaze without seeming like a completely ridiculous jerk. He senses your apprehension and tells you the story of how he discovered he had the virus.You’ve got to respect his honesty. You two end up talking the rest of the night into the early morning. Now you’re really at an impasse. Do you see this fabulous fella again, who you know has all of the qualities you want in a man but is restricted by the constraints of his disease, or do you delete his number and strike out in search of another guy who doesn’t make you feel nearly as magical, but has a clean bill of health?I don’t know anyone who’s ever dated a person with HIV. Wait, let me say this — I don’t know anyone who’s ever knowingly dated a person with HIV. I live in D.C., a city I love with an infection rate that’s terrifying, so chances are that I’ve come across plenty of folks who are carrying the virus and just don’t know it yet. It’s an ongoing epidemic here in the lovely Nation’s Capital. But I also don’t know if I know anyone with a heart free enough and a mind broad enough to date someone with HIV.Women tend to be a lot more willing to overlook shortcomings, flaws, and disabilities than a man is. I know a guy who has full-out vitiligo, face and body covered in spotty patches that vary in shade between someone like Angelina Jolie and others that are as dark as maybe an India Arie. The contrast is extreme. But you think that man is ever hurting for a date? Not so much. His dance card is full, but if he were a woman, that would be a whole other story. Men aren’t usually that generous with their oversights.But HIV isn’t anything close to vitiligo. And it’s mortifying to both genders. This is one example where I can see members of both sexes being scared to carry on any kind of amorous relationship with someone who’s a carrier.Even as I’m writing this, I’m contemplating the question for myself. I’ve already concluded that I could be with someone who had a physical handicap. When I was younger, I probably wouldn’t have been that free-thinking to even consider a dude in a wheelchair or an amputee or even a blind or deaf guy. It wasn’t that I was superficial. As much baggage and as many flaws as I have myself, I can’t even part my lips to be snarky to somebody else. But like most people (emphasis on most), I’ve matured over time.With meds and a healthy lifestyle, folks with HIV can lead normal lives. I’m not sure what the sex component is like — and that’s a serious component indeed, let’s not tell lies — but if a couple is committed to each other and committed to making it work, they can find a way to get it in without compromising the uninfected individual’s health, I would think. Could I give up having that blissful, head over heels kind of love because the man giving it had HIV? I don’t think so. I think I could date this hypothetical him.  So, could you date someone with HIV?by The_Stir LifestyleRelationships Dating someone with HIV: Could you do it?. by: – July 22, 2011 Sharelast_img read more

Germany brought crashing down to earth

first_imgLow’s side stunned by Mexico as World Cup defence starts with defeatMoscow, June 17: Mexico created the first upset of the 2018 FIFA World Cup, overcoming defending champions Germany 1-0 in a frenetic Group F game at the Luzhniki Stadium here on Sunday.Forward Hirving Lozano’s 35th-minute goal proved to make the difference in a match played at a very high tempo as four-time champions Germany began their title defence on a disastrous note.The game opened up at a breathtaking pace, with both Germany and Mexico playing an open game, going on an all-out attack. German striker Timo Werner had the first chance of the match but his drive from a tight angle from the right went wide of the left post.Ranked 14 places below than the world No.1 Germany, Mexico took the European powerhouse head on, playing a quick counter-attacking game.Germany captain and goalkeeper Manuel Neuer was called into action to block a long-range effort from midfielder Hector Herrera in the ninth minute and five minutes later, forced to keep away a header from Mexican centre-back Hector Moreno off a corner in the 14th minute.Germany responded through long-range efforts from Toni Kroos and Werner around 20-minute mark.Mexico continued to threaten Neuer’s goal as Miguel Layun fired one over the cross-bar in the 25th minute. The Porto midfielder tested Neuer again but the Bayern Munich captain blocked a shot coming at his chest height.The Latin Americans were rewarded with the 1-0 lead when a German attack broke down, leading to a quick counter-attack spearheaded by Javier Hernandez. Just over the halfway line, the West Ham United striker spotted Lozano at the left between opponent central defenders Mats Hummels and Jerome Boateng. PSV Eindhoven forward Lozano raced into the box before employing a right footed drive which beat Neuer at the bottom left corner.Germany were quick to respond, with a 30-yard free-kick from Kroos greeting Guillermo Ochoa’s gloves before hitting the cross-bar in the 38th minute.Mexico could have ended the first half with a 2-0 lead had Carlos Vela’s left-footed shot from the centre of the box not gone wide of the left post.In the second half, Germany showed their intent to push for an equaliser but had to remain alert to avoid any counter-attack.However, left-back Marvin Plattenhardt was at fault when he moved ahead and Javier once again raced ahead for a counter-attack. With Boateng closing down on him, he attempted a poor side-pass to Vela, in a big relief to the Europeans.After this chance, Mexico were quick to put in defender Edson Alvarez, substituting Vela.Seeing Mexico intent on going for defensive depth, Germany decided to shift gear, replacing midfielder Sami Khedira with creative forward Marco Reus in the 59th minute.Later, Germany pinned Mexico inside their box, creating one chance after another. Joshua Kimmich, and Werner were guilty of heading corners off target, while Julian Draxler saw a curling attempt at goal deflected behind for a corner.Later, Mexico sought another defensive cover, replacing midfielder and captain Andres Guardado with Rafael Marquez, while forward Raul Jimenez replaced Lozano.Mexico waited for their counter-attack and twice Layun had the opportunity to give his side a cushion goal. But his shots were not on target, even failing to test Neuer in the 80th minute mark.With times running out, a desperate Germany coach Joachim Loew decided to substitute left-back Plattenhardt with striker Mario Gomez, moving the team’s formation to a 3-2-1-4. Werner made way for Julian Brandt.However, Mexico, with determination, defended their slender one-goal lead to secure a crucial win. IANSlast_img read more